I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
