im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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