When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize