I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
