I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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