Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
