I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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