I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
