Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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