am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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