somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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