I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
