If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
me + whiskey = a bad person
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
