I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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