He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
