the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
