Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
