I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
