Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sorry about my life...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
