I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
