would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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