My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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