Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
