You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
