you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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