So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
As shirtless as possible
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
