I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
