problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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