i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
