apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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