It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
