The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
