You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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