I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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