Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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