You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
