I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
