By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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