so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
