You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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