all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
