ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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