Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
