Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
