the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
