I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
