Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
