Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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