i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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