So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
