Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
