Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
operation have a gay friend backfired
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
