I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
