Already got asked if we're dating
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
