using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
