just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
