there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
