He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so let's talk penis.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
