does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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