Christians are straight up FREAKS
Define "chronic" masturbator.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize