i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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